guys, I hope you're taking notes

Some of you have asked me about Marcus, the dashing gentleman from two posts ago who graciously (and probably against his better judgment) allowed me to document his style to share with the world. Yes, he is an anomaly. For every Marcus, there are 15 or 20 clueless men (my rough estimate, albeit on the conservative side) who either put no effort whatsoever into their physical appearance, or who simply don't get it. Enter: Undateable by Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle...


This hilarious narrative pictorial goes through the authors' non-exhaustive list of things men do, say, and wear that are a complete turnoff. The first section, What Not to Wear, hits some of the big ones: Crocs, jorts, japris, and socks with sandals, and also calls out some of the lesser-known but wholly offensive pieces like Ed Hardy-esque shirts, Transitions sunglasses, and gold chains. It also highlights some head-to-toe "looks" or personas that guys adopt (sigh):

Ah, yes: the "G". Unacceptable once you're out of junior high. Or ever.

Lots of bad happening here: cell phone holstered to the belt, black jeans that are too short, and running shoes in the workplace. Too bad; he's probably a nice guy.

Again with the cell phone holster. And bad jeans. And the stupid tattoo-looking shirt isn't helping things either.

My favorite: the Weekend White Guy. Polo shirt (sometimes it's a free corporate swag shirt with a big, dumb logo on it), giant pleated khaki shorts with the same belt he wears to work, yet ANOTHER guy with the cell phone holster, and running socks and sneakers.

The timeliness of me picking up this book was pretty amazing, too. I was in a work-related class last week, and the course instructor was basically one big moving violation. I snapped some pictures on my cell phone of a couple choice looks from throughout the week:

These pants illustrate a phenomenon the Undateable authors refer to as "long butt", caused by wearing pants too high up on the waist. I wish I had been able to capture a shot of the entire length of the pants, because they were also the kind that has zip-away pant legs. Barf.

Two major pain points here: a Tommy Bahama-style shirt and sky-blue jeans. I shudder.

This is a man who ostensibly has the resources to make a respectable wardrobe happen, but either consciously chooses not to, or, the more likely scenario: he just doesn't have a clue. He made numerous references during the week to his wife and kids: can't they intervene? Don't they love him?

Guys: please stop doing these things. Women: please stop your men from doing these things. Let's make society a more aesthetically pleasing place to be.


In style we trust,

dau